Marrying into a different culture often comes with unexpected surprises, from family traditions to everyday routines. In her June 19 Instagram post, Canadian content creator Cassie, who is married to a Pakistani man, shared the cultural differences that caught her completely off guard when they first started dating, from learning relationship titles to navigating South Asian hospitality. (Also read: Content creator compares Australia's health star rating system with Indian food marketing; reveals popular drink scores )
The naming conventions for relationships
Cassie said one of the biggest surprises was learning how every family member has a different title. "There's different names for everybody," she said, explaining that relatives on the mother's side and father's side are addressed differently, and even older and younger aunts and uncles have separate names. She added, "Depending on if that's their dad's mom versus their mom's mom, you might be calling the same grandma a different name. What?"
Using WhatsApp instead of iMessage
I had never used WhatsApp, never downloaded it," she admitted. Now, she said, it's the only way she communicates with her husband and in-laws. Recalling her first reaction, she joked, "What do you mean we're not using iMessage? Like, what's happening here?"
The amount of food at family gatherings
Cassie said she was amazed by brown people's hospitality. "You could show up at somebody's house unannounced at 8:00 AM, and they will have five entrees and three side dishes ready to go," she said. Comparing it to her own hosting, she laughed, "Here's some cheese and crackers," while others seem to have "17 dishes ready to go."
Staying with family instead of booking hotels
Cassie explained that her family often prefers hotels when visiting, but that isn't the case in her husband's family. "Brown people would never," she said. "The people coming to visit wouldn't book a hotel. They're staying with family." She added that if someone did book a hotel, relatives would wonder, "Why didn't you stay with us?"
Everyone knows everyone
Cassie was also surprised by how quickly news travels within brown families. "Everybody knows everybody, quite literally everybody, and news travels fast," she said. Wondering how information spreads so quickly, she joked, "I think it's through WhatsApp."
Cassie summed up her experience by saying these were only some of the cultural differences that caught her by surprise. Reflecting on her journey, she joked, "I could probably give you, like, 50 more," suggesting that adapting to a new culture has been a continuous learning experience.
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