England vs Norway in the World Cup quarter-finals. Jude Bellingham scores a first-half equaliser in stoppage time to keep England’s hopes alive. The crowd goes wild. Well, most of them do. Because there’s Victoria Beckham, bringing her customary joie de vivre – not just failing to celebrate, but failing to look at the pitch altogether.
Beside her, David Beckham leaps to his feet and punches the air, along with their son, Romeo. Even Victoria’s hairdresser – yes, she brought her hairdresser, Ken Paves – looks animated.
But spare a thought for Victoria. Most football widows get to stay at home while their other half watches the match. When you’re the world’s most famous Wag, different rules apply. You have to get out there and be photographed. You just don’t have to enjoy it or understand the game.
“I’ve never really been into football,” she said in David’s Netflix documentary. Further back, she explained: “I do go to football sometimes, but I don’t know the offside rule or free kicks. Or corner kicks, or whatever they’re called.”
She could have learned all of this by now but, really, there are so many other things to think about. Like whether Vogue will give your outfit a post-match write-up (goal achieved: “VB wore her own designs, a mushroom grey, silky draped sleeveless top paired with close-fitting, high-waisted white pants and light-lensed aviator sunglasses.”)
The image has gone viral, and everyone is weighing in. “That classic Posh Spice smile! It’s so infectious!” said Jenny Johnson, a comedian. Kirstie Allsopp, who shares opinions on all things important, declared: “There is a VERY good reason the wonderful Victoria Beckham doesn’t go mad when a goal is scored. It’s hard to look good doing it.”
Victoria addressed this issue in her Netflix documentary. “I’m smiling on the inside, but no one ever sees it,” she said. David came to his wife’s defence on Monday, saying: “She was celebrating inside, I promise, her reactions were slightly slower than mine.”
What is she thinking about as she gazes out into the distance? It can’t be whether she’s accidentally left the oven on because she hasn’t eaten anything but steamed fish since 1997. She could, of course, be thinking about estranged son, Brooklyn, missing as usual from this family outing.
Or perhaps it was anxiety over what the Miami humidity was doing to her hair. When Inter Miami unveiled Lionel Messi’s star signing in 2023, Victoria was forced to hightail it to the VIP loos so that Paves could deal with the frizz – an emergency which she documented on Instagram.
And when you’ve experienced drama like that, what’s a World Cup quarter-final?